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A Different story line...

Illusions should come packaged with statutory warnings, something on the lines of “Illusionary state of mind is detrimental to anyone accompanying the person in question“. Its like passive smoking, the difference being the effects are more at a mental level. Spending time with someone having illusions about himself or herself is like spending time in the gas chamber only this time the brain is getting smothered. Now think about spending the whole life with yourself when you are constantly having megalomaniac thought about yourself. Thinking of Jekyll and Hyde, Schizophrenia, Insanity, nah more like plain old stupid

So why the above rant?
I was going through my mail archives, when I came across a script or that was what it was supposed to be when I wrote it. Not long ago I had illusions about wanting to be a director. I remember the time very well, we were working on a project deadline, my colleague and best friend gaurav slogging away at the terminal doing his best to deliver on time. I too was putting in efforts to do something by not getting in the way, what better way to contribute by not screwing up things more than they already were. So as to keep myself busy in being idle, I was inspired to write a script….. A movie script no less. I could have written a kindergarten play and maybe carried it off with aplomb and little persuasion with my neighbors kids, but no all great people think big and stupid think bigger. I thought the biggest.

Also as a dedication to gaurav for his efforts to get me out of trouble by doing not just his work but also mine on our project, I decided to make him the hero of my movie.

Please proceed reading at your own risk and gau, if you are reading this, buddy I guess you missed out on your Oscar.

A Different story line...

Apna hero gau ka wt is around 50 kilo [theek hai, in movies we can add weight by making him put extra clothes]. He doesn’t have any aim in life and all day does java coding. His friend one day decides to put on weight and joins a gym and gau decided to join him just for company sake. His friend drops out of the gym at the last moment coz he got admission for onsite in US. Gau is now left alone and doesn’t know what to do. His dad scolds gau for having no weight target in life and wasting away his life on 50 something kilos.
His girlfriend... [Hmmmm I guess this is getting too filmy and the budget does not afford a heroine] ... his WSAD tool which is his first love is happy coz gau will now stay away from coding for some time and WSAD can take a rest from constant compiling and running of java and projects.
Gau’s first weeks in gym is a horror show and he runs away back to WSAD who is so very pissed off on gau that she dumps gau's programs and refuses to compile any of his programs.... gau's warrior ego is hurt and he vows to get back to gym and he now comes out a well built person and goes on to win Mr Shivaji park competition.
WSAD also finally comes around and builds all gau's projects and makes him happy.

PS: I go on to win at the Razzies for the worst story, direction, production, and all categories.
PS-1: Gau loses out on winning at the awards coz they all faint and cant watch any further so his acting goes unnoticed
PS-2: I make a lot of money [not by selling the movie... its junk, but by getting myself adopted by gau's bapu.]
PS-3: The script is absolutely new and is different, Any similarities to a movie called lakshya is a coincidence and figment of critics imagination. Any such claim will be treated with spam of more of my stories and the claimant sued for maligning my creative talents.


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